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laura quade

Some people don't have children

Updated: Oct 23, 2022

A friend told me a story: (TL:DR recording below)





"The day my son was born," he said, "I held him and he was perfect. He'd done nothing to disappoint me.

The next day, he was still perfect. He had done nothing to disappoint me.

On the third day, he was still perfect and had done nothing to disappoint me.

Now, 5,114 days later he's still perfect. He has done nothing to disappoint me.

I don't feel this way about anyone else in the world.

Out of genuine curiosity, I wonder why some people choose not to experience such a profound love."


I am one of these people-- a woman choosing not to have children. He knew this, this friend of mine.


"Unless," he continued, "you think everyone is perfect."


I was shocked by this and thought for a moment.


He'd nailed it and handed me the response I'd been looking for. The response that might calm every doubt, mum every "you'll change your mind," and "what if your partner wants kids."


...


"Yes" was my response. "Everyone is perfect." This is not an opinion.


We live by a tragically flawed system that has royally disrupted the patterns we utilize to operate autonomously and sustainably.

If a 14-year-old boy is perfect, then yes, I believe everyone is perfect.


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