All learning is done in phases.
Unity is vision; it must have been part of the process of learning to see. – Henry Adams Per a friend's suggestion, I finally watched the Netflix series Babies. Not actually owning a TV or subscribing to Netflix made this request too easy to avoid.
This friend, an expecting mother at the time of her now nearly 2-year-old son, knew that we were on similar journeys obsessing over child development. But it still took me two years to watch the series. My focus had been on the older children I interacted with. And of them, I was particularly interested in the impact of childhood adversity. I began to recognize parallels between academic subjects and the process of developing autonomy and social fluency. That is what this post is about. PARALLELS AND METAPHORS: Everything is the Same From biology to behavior, we use rodents and primates to study human biology and social behavior. In a sense, I like to think of these animals as our metaphors. Holistically. And we theirs. Of course, monkeys nor mice are the same as we humans, but we’re similar enough. And (PETA aside) we eagerly accept such scientific findings. We love a good metaphor, after all. But we fail to explore, or perhaps truly appreciate, the depth of the metaphor. Our samenesses don't only cross species, but traverse the various motifs of our own humanity. LIMITING VISUAL DISTRACTIONS: Vision's role in becoming social animals In the documentary Babies, groundbreaking research explores the newborn experience. Infants are born with blurry vision. Not because they simply haven’t developed the ability to see in detail yet, and would benefit if they had, but because their development actually depends on it.
In other words, their minds are preoccupied and aren't ready for the detail. Our bodies, knowing how eager and impatient (and distracted and overwhelmed) we might become, evolved a literal cognitive barrier to excessive detail. To prevent a sensory overload.
So we were born with blurry vision. Blurry vision is crucial to the first phase of social development. A couple of years later, from about 2 to 2 1/2 years old, we begin to parallel play. Parallel play follows onlooker play, and occurs before associative or cooperative play. Math and reading follow similar trajectories. First, we learn basic arithmetic and simple sight words, and with practice we advance to more complex math and become well-acquainted with longer words. Simply put, having patience during the process of learning is essential to reaching our cognitive potential
Toddlers don't have the cognitive capacity to interact while playing, so they play with toys, applying the skills they observed during onlooker play, and play in parallel. Then, when they're ready (aka cognitively--biologically--capable), they move on to playing with others, or cooperative or associative play.
While they play in parallel, toddlers are also exposed to the pressures of social interaction.
Parents will inevitably fuss over them, a child may take a toy from another child or sibling, or they’ll be shoved by a frustrated playmate. During this time, they're given the opportunity to practice responding to such stimuli, while maintaining focus on the play at hand.
Though the social atmosphere may not be in their control, their ability to play is… theoretically.
The play is theirs, not because they choose to keep it to themselves, but because their cognition hasn't advanced for them to share it.
THE FUNDAMENTALS OF LEARNING: Math, Reading, and Social Fluency Peter Gray's book, Free to Learn, highlights the innate draw children have to learn.This book changed my life.
In order to learn, children must be:
in a good mood, and
hands-on; doing it by themselves.
From math and reading to learning social skills, these two requirements seem to be even more fundamental than having someone available to teach them.
Unlike Math and Reading, unless actively restricted, social skills still manage to develop without formal instruction or direction. In fact, the evidence indicates that directing social development would be more disruptive than it would be effective.
MOVING ON, MOVING UP: From Prerequisite to Practice Once we've grasped a skill, whether it's addition and subtraction, recognizing sight words, or managing our reaction to stress, we tend to move on and continue our progress in phases that are essentially premeditated.
But, albeit subtly and often subconsciously, we never stop practicing those early steps of a lesson. Numbers form patterns and relationships in our minds; we add and subtract money, measurements, facts and figures on a daily basis. Because math comprehension and pattern recognition are essential, our evolution ensured their automatic practice.
Reading isn't a biological essential, but a more recently developed cultural "requirement." Unlike our having ten fingers to count, we haven't evolved a built-in practice aid for reading. But the process is much the same. Over time, coupled with pattern recognition and innate curiosity, our mental list of familiar, recognizable, words grows. If we're restricted from continued practice in writing and reading, even minimally, this list will plateau, and our literary ability will languish.
In this way, Parallel Play is more like mathematics than reading. It is essential and hardwired. The process of its practice is intimately and subtly woven into the fabric of society.:
When we take care of household chores alongside one another, pass a neighbor on the street, or go to the grocery store, gym, or movie theater.
We've designed our world to accommodate meeting our most fundamental needs, including the need to share space.
We intuitively practice math, reading, and social dexterity.
And sometimes we (either intentionally or unintentionally) restrict their practice in developing minds and bodies.
Unfortunately, we seem to be actively working to contradict this fundamental need to practice. Our groceries are delivered to our homes, we exercise "with" people through a screen in our house, and hire others to walk our dogs and clean our messes instead of doing it ourselves.
I'm not here to complain about audio books or the calculator on my phone, though I am aware of the detriment they've had to my continued development in math and the literary autonomy.
NOT TOO LATE: Today is a Great Day to Learn
Thankfully, it's never too late to learn a new skill.
During those earliest days, weeks, and months of our lives, when vision is blurred and dexterity naught, a newborn begins to learn, navigate, and manage their internal experience. Rather than focusing on distractive, visual detail, this biological limitation focuses the infant's attention on the textures, temperatures, tastes, and tones of their world.
Throughout childhood, adolescence, and (if we’re lucky and flexible) adulthood, we refine our reactions to the outside world.
We are not just capable of change. We are already always changing. Change is is inevitable. Permission to grow and reinvent ourselves is crucial to forming sustainable communities.
PARALLELS: A Conclusion And so, to tie all of these concepts together, we may appreciate the parallels between each phase of learning.
Step-by-step, we build on the basics. Expanding our understanding of how the world and ourselves work. We check in, from time to time, to make sure the joints are greased, subtly, often unintentionally, we practice the earliest lessons as well as the ones that followed.
"C-A-T" still spells "cat,” 2+2 does in fact equal 4, And sometimes the physical and social environments we find ourselves in are unpredictable and uncomfortable. But these external forces do not have to determine neither our internal experience nor our external reaction.
These challenges to our patience are mere moments of continued practice for the lessons learned during our toddler years in the sandbox. But that's part of living in a community..
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