Perhaps, to be happy is simply to be content.
I remember reading an article in high school (or was it college?) theorizing that Denmark was home to the happiest people in the world. At the time, by some metric. Sure, we could debate this claim, but that's not what I'm here to do. What I read that day has stuck with me since then. Danes, the article went on to say, live with low expectations, and high hopes.
Denmark is unapologetically ethnically homogenous. I feel it's important to note this fact. Communities thrive when their evolution is both natural and unwittingly intentional. Two unlikely qualities in a world where technological advances presume certain societal progress rather than considering a hinderance to sustainability. Culture is not meant to be replicated. The evolutionary process, therefore, oughtn't to feel forced or obstructive, rather to occur as an organic response to environmental stimuli. As a result, mimicking the Danish lifestyle would not result in happier communities elsewhere. Examining the Danes' relationship with pleasant surprises and realistic expectations, however, may be worth examining. The formula to happiness, it seems, is to couple high hopes with low expectations. And not the other way around.
Learning to find joy in surprises, while not becoming expectant of positive results, it turns out, is not such an easy task.
We must be flexible and receptive to change. Changes In plans, place, and pace. Even (or perhaps especially) when the change is sudden and seemingly disruptive. We must be willing (and possibly even eager) to face life's unpleasantries, learning to distinguish between our hopes and our expectations.
What is the difference between expectations and hopes?
Our hopes are our goals, dreams, wishes, and prayers. We feel a sense of responsibility for their outcome, acknowledging our influence and duty in seeing them met.
Not wanting to be blamed if something goes, or has gone, awry, we acknowledging the missed opportunity to have reached a different outcome, and wish for "better luck next time."
Our Expectations, on the other hand, are like fortunes. We accept that such predictions are out of our control, yet assume their eventual occurrence. Having displaced the responsibility, we seek responsibility, openly blaming external factors for our disappointment.
But sometimes we get it wrong. Sometimes unfortunate things just happen and, afraid of being accused, we're quick to place blame for something that's no-one's fault. Are the Danes right? Would lower expectations and higher hopes lead to happiness? Could adopting this mindset help us see more clearly? If we could hope for rather than expect success, perhaps we'd all be a bit less on edge, and a bit more content.
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